This is Not Forever.
Repeat after me... This is NOT forever.
No matter how awful and heartbroken you feel right now in this moment, it will not always feel like this.
Yes, there are things you can do to elongate the pain (obsessing, pushing feelings down with substances, avoiding beneficial activities) and things that can speed up the healing process (hello, working with a professional!) but it is not permanent.
The same goes for coping techniques such as going no contact or focusing on your ex’s negative qualities. Many of my clients are hesitant to use these tricks because they worry they’re committing to them forever and that they’re giving up any potential for contact in the future or accessing their positive memories.
You know a cast on a broken leg is temporary. You don’t start lamenting how you’ll “never” get it off—we naturally understand the concept of impermanence here. The same applies to our emotional wounds.
Sometimes, we have an easier time thinking about physical ailments than we do emotional ones.
So think about your breakup like a physical injury...
Some injuries are more complicated than others.
Some heal quickly and some take longer.
Some need more intervention like surgery or physical therapy to fully heal from.
When we break a bone, we don’t think “great, I’m ruined forever, I’ll never heal!”
True, there may be a scar. But the actual injury will heal.
Be kinder to yourself and give yourself time to heal!
Want to ensure your heart heals properly and with minimal scarring? Click here to learn more about my breakup coaching! ❤️🩹