Dr. Andrea Liner
Why do I Keep Dating the Same Type of People?
Have you ever noticed that some people seem to date the same type of person over and over again?
Sure they may look different or have different jobs and interests, etc., but maybe they all tend to be controlling or they all tend to have serious jealously issue or they all struggle with substance use.
Oftentimes, these common characteristics reflect or relate to a quality one of our early caregivers had. Such as finding yourself dating people with drinking problems when one of your parents is a recovering alcoholic.
The primary culprit is something called "repetition compulsion" where we have an unconscious desire to seek out similar (familiar) dynamics in the hope of one day "finally" mastering it or "winning."
Before you argue with me and say "Dr. Andrea, why on earth would I choose to date someone with the same issues as my dad?!", remember that this is an UNCONSCIOUS process. We aren't usually aware that we're doing it, let alone doing it on purpose.
Shifting this from unconscious to conscious is the way to finally gain control over these patterns-- something I help my clients do with my in depth psychological training!
Ready to work on these patterns for yourself?